Nose Wiping, Tear Drying and Shoe Tying

Melrose Place: Kindergarten Edition

Anna and Leon’s Story

Me: *enter classroom*
Priscilla: I think I’m falling in love with Leon.
Me: Oh, um, that’s great…
Priscilla: But Anna is falling in love with him too.

Later at lunch…

Zora: Ewww, Leon and Anna kissed today!!!
Me: *turning to Leon* Oh, is that true? Did you and Anna kiss today?
Leon: Yes, it’s true.
Me: Um, did you kiss on the cheek? Right?
Leon: Yes, we kissed on the cheek. I’m not in love with her though.
Me: Oh, really? Okay.
Leon: I’m in love with Myra. She is my friend from another school. You don’t know her.

On the playground after lunch…

Anna (to Darla): I don’t want to play with you today. I’m going to play with Leon

Across the playground of a few minutes later…

Darla, Caitlin and Pamela (all talking to each other): I don’t like Anna anymore…Yeah I know!…She used to be fun until she got a boyfriend!!

Back on the other side of the playground several minutes later Anna is suddenly on the ground sobbing so hard that I honestly thought she broke a bone. When I ask her why she’s crying she manages to tell me that Leon doesn’t want to play with her anymore.

Leon (comes over): Anna, I don’t want to play with you anymore because of the way you treated Darla. You said you didn’t want to play with her.
Anna continues sobbing.
Leon: Listen, Anna there’s something I really need to say to you. (Looks at me) ALONE.
Me: Oh um, you mean me? Oh, uh, okay.

I step away but hear Leon on say: Anna, I love you but I just can’t marry you right now.

Somehow he soothes her and they’re playing again. Later I hear him say: It’s okay Anna, I’ll marry you next week.

Pamela and Nicholas’ Story

On the first day of class, Nicholas and Pamela (who’ve had a history since preschool) decided that they were going to get married. Nicholas told Pam he was going to marry her and she said: Okay but we have to wait until we’re a little older. Let’s wait til a few years after Kindergarten.

However their engagement is certainly having its bumps!

One day when Pamela was absent from school, Nicholas was holding hands with Anna all day on the playground.

Me: Nicholas, I thought you were marrying Pam?
Nicholas: I am! Anna is just my friend. We like to speak German together (yes, many of my children are bilingual)

Also, you need to know that Nicholas also loves to talk about bathroom bodily functions.

Me: You know Nicholas, I wouldn’t want to marry someone who talks about bathroom stuff all the time.
Nicholas: Well that’s why I’m not marrying you and you can’t be a part of my family. Go marry someone else.
Me: I don’t know, what do you think Pam? Do you want to be married to someone who talks about bathroom stuff all the time?
Pam (twists her mouth and shrugs her shoulders): Well…maybe he won’t talk about it so much when he’s older…?

Pam: Nicholas, I play with you all the time so today I am going to play with my girl friends. I will play with you tomorrow, okay?
Nicholas: What?? You don’t want to play my game anymore?
Some arguing ensues and Pamela ends up crying and surrounded by Darla, Caitlin, Luna, Zora and Priscilla with Nicholas facing them.
Nicholas: Well fine!! If you don’t want to play with me then I’m not marrying you!!
He storms away and the girls whisk Pamela off to the playhouse.

Later, Nicholas comes to the playhouse to try to talk to Pam but Darla, Caitlin and a few of the other girls are blocking the door. Nicholas is trying to shout past them to talk to Pam but the girls are having none of it.

Darla: Go away! She doesn’t want to see you right now.
Caitlin: Yeah, get out!
Darla: You hurt her feelings, she doesn’t want to play with you.

Eventually Pam and Nicholas have a “private” chat under the slide and everything is as it should be with the world again.

I can’t decide if their drama is more like a soap opera, a reality tv show or a miniature version of high school. It’s incredible.

More to come!